I have a new....

BLOG! It's located here: http://www.jcwilder.com/.
This one will become extinct at some point.

Lessons Learned Again...and again...

"When people show you who they are, believe them...the first time." — Dr. Maya Angelou

This is one of my all time favorite quotes and I definitely try to live by it. So why am I bringing this up?

A local woman was murdered when she reunited with her estranged husband. He'd been arrested for numerous domestic incidents and had a record of crimes that were escalating in violence with each new incident. Her family begged her to avoid him, law enforcement warned her off, she'd taken out a restraining order...she then ignored it and invited him back into the house. Dead at twenty-nine, she left two children behind. The perp was shot and killed by the police - thumbs up for the boys in blue.

Did you know?
 - Every nine seconds a woman in battered in the U.S.
 - One out of four have been assaulted by an intimate partner.
 - One in five High School Students have been assaulted by a boyfriend.
 - 37% of emergency room visits by women are DV related.
 - 1.3 million woman are battered each year in the US.
 - 50% of all homeless women and children are fleeing abusive husbands / spouses / relationships.
 - The greatest risk of transmitting this behavior to the next generation is for a child to see a parent being beaten.
 - 50% of state prison detainees for DV killed their victim.
 - In 70-80% of intimate partner homicides, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before the murder.


If you or someone you know is in danger, call the National Domestic Violence hotline at any time of the day or night.

1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)

This is a disease with a cure.

Tempt Not The Cat...or the Contest!

Tempt Not The Cat is now available!

This is the third book in the Shadow Dweller series though it has changed quite a bite since it's first incarnation. How much do I love this novel? Just let me count the ways.

Top 12 Reasons You Should Run, Not Walk, To Buy This Book

12. Lots of new stuff in this version of the book

11. High body count - nothing says romance like a pile o' corpses

10. It's written me by and I'm FABulous! :)

9. Verra Sexy Hero

8. It's on sale @ a discount!

7. The heroine is a romance writer

6. Verra Sexy Shapeshifting Hero

5. Set in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado.

4. Uber sensual love scenes, food scenes and water incidents

3. Verra Sexy Shapeshifting CAT Hero

2. The blatant and often hilarious misuse of catnip

1. Did I mention the uber sexy, hot, gorgeous yummy shapeshifting CAT hero?

Want to win a paperback copy of the first two books of the series? Send a blank email to lists @ jcwilder.com and you will be entered into a random drawing. There will be FIVE winners so what are you waiting for?

Legal Stuff:

One entry per household.

Void where prohibited.

Babs

Over the course of your lifetime you'll meet many people who have a story to tell. If you're lucky, a handful of those stories have the potential to change the course of your life.

Meet my friend Babs - one of those amazing spirits who tranformed hundreds of lives simply because she was breathing. We worked together for several years and during that time we laughed, we cried and had long talks about every topic under the sun. Even though she had MS, she never let her daily struggle diminish her cheerful nature and everyone she met adored her.

I received an email today letting me know that this darling creature passed away on October 2.

You will be sorely missed and I'm a better person for just having known you.

This one is for you, Babs:

Some of the many reasons why I adored Babs.

12. With her illness she had issues with her speech (she constantly struggled to find the right words) and when she used the wrong ones she'd laugh, laugh, laugh.

11. Was addicted to anything sweet and was always willing to share.

10. Her infectious laugh.

9. Hysterically funny without being mean or snarky.

8. Loved to talk about anything to anyone.

7. Always saw the good in people.

6. Loved the color purple and wore it often.

5. Sang jazz standards (off-key of course) all day while we worked.

4. Adored anything related to Hollywood be it movies, gossip or Mel Gibson.

3. Major Foodie.

2. Was generous with her time no matter what the situation was.

1. Always reminded me that if you're not having fun then you're doing it wrong.

And something from one of her favorite authors:

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER by Erma Bombeck

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love yous".. more "I'm sorrys"... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it...and never give it back.

Weigh Loss & The Biggest Loser

I'm watching the first show of season 8 of The Biggest Loser. I have a love/hate relationship with this show. I love Bob Harper - he's really hot and he makes for good scenary. I hate watching these people broken down again and again though. They might lose weight, but how many of them actually keep it off?

What is the deal with the trainers looking like raging psychopaths this season? I realize this is a 'reality' show and its all about the ratings - but their behavior enforced it this time around. In order to lose weight, everyone needs encouragement but this, IMO, isn't encouraging. It's nothing short of abusive - to yell and scream in someone's face like that is just messed up. If I had to go through that to lose weight, I'd grab another Twinkie and turn to HBO.

Also - anyone who has studied the science of weight loss knows that to lose more than 1% of your body weight per week is too much. I understand why the first week these contestants lose big numbers, a lot of it is water weight as salt is pretty much being removed from their diet. If you drop the salt & salty foods I can guarantee that you'll drop some pounds as well.

While it might look good to see people watching big chunks of blubber each week, what is the real cost to their bodies? Hormone levels go nuts, stress hormones increase and the tissues become inflamed. Inflamation , for those of you who don't know, is almost the same as an injury - it causes your body to go into overdrive to repair the inflamed tissues. The metabolism starts doing gymnastics and your body goes into fight mode which means it hangs onto every calorie, every pound that comes your way. Its a vicious cycle which takes me back to - how many of them gain their weight back?

Daniel, a contestant from Season 7 - lost a good amount of weight and he's returned for this season. At the finale, he won 312 pounds and at the beginning of the season he weighed...312 pounds. Now this man states that he's been working out for four hours a day and lost...nothing?

I know how everyone loves to chant the weight loss mantra of calories and exercise but somtimes that equation doesn't equal success. Sometimes its about WHAT you are eating, not how much you are eating. I'm sure there are many who would argue with me on this but I've fought with my weight all my life and this has been my experience.

Show 1 - Julio should've been sent home because he's a whiner.

Men of SWAT

I gots news....

I just recieved a contract for the next Men of SWAT title, Kissing Cowboy. No release date yet so stay tuned. :)

He was a Giant...

1952-2009

New Cover

Coming October 31, 2009

Yikes...

Is my blog neglected or WHAT? :)

Greatest Standup Comedians of All Time

I love comedy. If you can tell me a good story or make me laugh, I'll sit at your feet and beg for more. I have the utmost respect for anyone who can get on a stage and intentionally be funny because it just ain't easy.

12. Lenny Bruce - I admit, he was before my time, but he is the father of shock comedy and without him we never would've had such greats as Richard Pryor or Sam Kinison. Prior to this comedy consisted of knock-knock jokes and Bruce took an unflinching look at the ugly side of life - racism, hatred.

11. Bill Cosby - If you haven't seen his movie entitled, Himself, you're missing out.

10. Richard Pryor - This man set the world on its ear with his third album, That Nig***s Crazy and his popularity continued to grow with each successive album release. He was one of the writers on Blazing Saddles, Car Wash and numerous television shows.

9. Carol Burnett - One of my earliest memories was watching the Carol Burnett show in the early seventies. She was ahead of her time in that she knew her worth and retained creative control of her show in an era when it was unheard of.

8. Roseanne Barr - Love her or hate her - this woman kicks ass. She knew her value to the entertainment world and she retained control of her show and called all the shots.

7. Chris Farley - His timing was spot on - its too bad that he couldn't see himself as we saw him.

6. Joan Rivers - She was one of the first female comics, I believe Moms Mabley and Phyllis Diller are the only ones before her, and she is utterly hilarious. The first comic to openly talk about sex and issues that are important to women, she paved the way for those who came after.

5. Phyllis Diller - The first female comic to really make a name for herself. I remember seeing her on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and she constantly had him blushing.

4. Bob Hope - I grew up on his movies, watched his specials and was constantly amazed by him. He was the comedian who could stand in front of presidents and heads of state and make fun of them without recourse. He gave thousands of hours of his life to entertain the troops all over the world and this country owes him a debt of gratitude for his service.

3 . George Carlin - What can I say about him? He was a genuis and I was lucky to see him do a trial run of what would become his last HBO Special - It's bad for ya.

2. Red Skelton - Most of you are going...who? He was one of the funniest men and he was known as America's Clown. He appeared on several shows with Lucille Ball and he was a master of physical comedy. Go to his website and listen to his Guzzler's Gin piece and experience America as it was in the 50's.

1. Sam Kinison - I suppose some feel that Carlin or Pryor belong here but I just adored Kinison. He was sharp, funny, intelligent and utterly, completely fearless. I saw him perform once and it was an experience like no other. People make a big deal about Dane Cook filling stadiums and Kinison was doing it when Cook was still playing with G.I. Joe. He was a legend.

Others that I adore, Ellen Degeneres, Lewis Black, Katt Williams, D.L. Hugley, Woody Allen (in his early days), Andy Kaufmann, Bill Hicks, Johnathon Winters, Dom DeLuise, Red Foxx, Dennis O'Leary, Stephen Wright, Don Rickles, Bob Newhart - I could go on for days.

Who are some of your favorites?

More Amazon Hijinks

A friend set me this link and I'm not happy. What is it with Amazon that they just can't come out and say what they mean? They always wait until an issue turns into a PR nightmare and they are exposed as the 800lb bully in the playground.

Yeah, I think I'll be shaking loose of my Kindle and switching to a new team.

http://www.geardiary.com/2009/06/19/kindles-drm-rears-its-ugly-head-and-it-is-ugly/