Lessons Learned Again...and again...

"When people show you who they are, believe them...the first time." — Dr. Maya Angelou

This is one of my all time favorite quotes and I definitely try to live by it. So why am I bringing this up?

A local woman was murdered when she reunited with her estranged husband. He'd been arrested for numerous domestic incidents and had a record of crimes that were escalating in violence with each new incident. Her family begged her to avoid him, law enforcement warned her off, she'd taken out a restraining order...she then ignored it and invited him back into the house. Dead at twenty-nine, she left two children behind. The perp was shot and killed by the police - thumbs up for the boys in blue.

Did you know?
 - Every nine seconds a woman in battered in the U.S.
 - One out of four have been assaulted by an intimate partner.
 - One in five High School Students have been assaulted by a boyfriend.
 - 37% of emergency room visits by women are DV related.
 - 1.3 million woman are battered each year in the US.
 - 50% of all homeless women and children are fleeing abusive husbands / spouses / relationships.
 - The greatest risk of transmitting this behavior to the next generation is for a child to see a parent being beaten.
 - 50% of state prison detainees for DV killed their victim.
 - In 70-80% of intimate partner homicides, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before the murder.


If you or someone you know is in danger, call the National Domestic Violence hotline at any time of the day or night.

1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)

This is a disease with a cure.

OW!

You know its going to be a rough day when you have a fat lip before 8am.

Stopped at my neighbors on the way to the grocery store. I went to pet the dog and Butch (said dog) jumped up and hit me full force in the mouth. Busted my lip open, blood everywhere. Mark (owner of said dog) had to haul me in his house and doctor me.

My lip is So Big...

(this is where you say, "how big is it?")

I have to watch walking through doorways so it doesn't get caught in the door.

OW

Messy!

In my never-ending quest for a neat house, I threw myself into cleaning the garage yesterday. My method of cleaning is this - I put everything where I want it then I end up with this weird pile o' crap that I'm never quite sure what to do with. My solution has been to throw it in a box and toss it in the garage for the moment.

Now, years later, my garage is a mess. Surprise - bet you didn't see that coming.

Amvets is coming next Tuesday so I'm in a mad scramble to empty the garage and make a huge donation to charity. Literally, I have an entire kitchen stored out there somewhere and I'm sure someone can use it.

So in my frenzy I came across a box of stuff from past boyfriends and other people that I consider(ed) important in my life. I went through the box and spent my time shaking my head and trying to remember if I'd had a head injury when I dumped all that stuff in there. Why did I keep all of it?

My immediate answer is that it hurt too much to look at it so I threw it into a box to deal with when I wasn't so pissed off. The funny thing was I dumped him for screwing around on me which begs the question a second time - why did I keep this stuff again?

I sifted through the box and either tossed it or put it in the charity box. I did fish out a beautiful set of gold pens he'd given me - hey, I'm not stupid! Quality pens cost mucho dollars, but that was it. My garage would be much cleaner if I'd done that with everything else instead of letting it pile up.

Do you keep the remnants of past relationships hanging around in your house??

Blogging!

I'm the featured blogger over at TRS Blue - http://trsblue.blogspot.com/ Go check out my adventure - its worth the trip. :)

Happy New Year!

Check out my post at http://www.thesamhellion.com - I wrote about Today.
Enjoy!

What the...

The funniest thing happened to me today. I had to pop out and pick up some cover flats I had printed at Office Max. When the guy saw the covers he started asking me questions and I told him I was the author.

Slowly a number of the Office Max employees wandered over to see the cover so I gave them my card which has my name, URL etc and the line "Vampires, Witches and Werecats...oh my!" Another customer asked for a card so I gave her one too and she tells me how much respect she has for writers.

Not two seconds later, she gives it back and says,

"I'm not into that kind of thing."

The first thought that popped into my head was, "So you don't want to hear about the bondage books then?"

Instead I said something about writing all different types of genres but she wasn't interested in listening to me. She'd already presented me with her back by then. So I guess what she meant to say was that she has respect for writers who create what she deems acceptable. Needless to say I was snickering all the way out the door.

Now, I could care less that she handed the card back. I don't embarass easily so do what you will. What got me was that she ASKED for the card and then snubbed me because she didn't like what it had to say. I don't know about anyone else but my Mama taught me to accept what people give you then throw it away later if you don't want it.

It's called manners.

So what is the moral to the story? If you can't laugh at yourself then others will spend time laughing at you.

So the You SUCK award goes to...the lady in the Office Max. :)

Blowing in the wind...

I'm back...

Ohio was hit hard by the remnants of Hurricane Ike. About 700k lost power including the Wilder Castle. We were out for 48 hours and it took another day to get my internet working. Talk about roughing it!

We received a lot of wind damage. Two of our trees literally shredded and took out the power lines. We have gutter damage and my patio was wiped out. Other than the minor inconveniences we're good to go. I still need to call some contractors but now that I have electricity - its all good. :)

I spent a lot of time looking around at the items in the house realizing just how useless 90% of it is without power. Thank goodness for my Kindle or I would've gone out of my mind. By turning off the wireless I can use my reader for about 9 - 10 hours before it needs a charge.

Randy Pausch

How many times can you say you saw someone on tv and your life will never be the same?

I can say that about Randy Pausch.

Randy was a Carnagie Mellon (Whoa...big brains) professor whose greatest gift wasn't in teaching others, it was his love for his children.

In academia, it's common to ask tenured professors to give a lecture called The Last Lecture. This lecture is all about what they would want to say if they learned they were going to die tomorrow. The difference in Randy's lecture was the he was really going to die.

Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Paudch delivered the lecture of a lifetime in September 2007. It wasn't so much about what he wanted to say, it was more about what he wanted to say to his children in the future - the future without him. It was funny, poignant, uplifting and brilliant - an amazing statement from an everyday guy.

Thankfully someone uploaded it to YouTube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo - be warned, it is long but SO worth the time. Once you see it, your life will never be the same.

I first saw this in December and I immediate sent links to all my close friends. The Last Lecture was made into a book and has been on the best seller list since April.

Randy Pausch passed away today at the age of 47.

Guest Blogging

I'm guest blogging this week at NovelSpot and my topic is the path (koff) to publication. Check out my first post:

http://novelspot.net/node/2430

So Long, George

"We're all fucked. It helps to remember that."George Carlin

Chewing the fat...or not!

Don't you just love it when people say one thing but mean something completely different? It's like people want you to GUESS what they really mean. What's up with that? IMO, this is most rampant among women because they don't want to be perceived as confrontational or...dare we say...rude?

Below are some of my interpretations for a range of platitudes that you could hear on any given day.

When you see a long lost friend and they tell you...'Wow, you look great..." = "Damn bitch, couldn't you have gotten fat or something?"

"No, those pants don't make your butt look fat..." = "Your butt is what makes you look fat, not the pants." (Besides, do we really want to hear the truth? I don't think so...because if you have to ask, you already know your butt looks big)

"Are you going to eat that?" = "I'm so hungry, I should give up my carrot and celery sticks and have something GOOD for a change."

"Did you see that dress? She looks like a skank..." = "I'm feeling really crappy about myself so its much easier to beat up on someone who will never know I'm talking trash about them..." or "I'm jealous because I know these pants make my butt look fat."

:)

Speaking of Criminals...

In America, there are approximately 47 million people without any form of health insurance. Consequently they make choices like whether or not to pay the light bill or buy their medications. Last night CBS news did a piece on free clinics in America and they interviewed a man who had lost his job and was a diabetic. He said that losing his insurance was more frightening than losing his job because without his meds - he dies.

Everyone says that we live in the richest country in the world yet this is what we've come to? People have to choose between eating and taking their meds? How many ways can someone say this just isn't right?

Yesterday I received a bill from the lab who ran my blood work back in April. The charges were as follows:

Cholesterol test - 37.20
Lipoprotein test - 50.60
Triglycerides test - 37.20
TSH test - 122.60
Veinipuncture - 18.45
Creatinine test - 15.81
Electrolyte test - 21.64

Grand Total - 303.50

Anyone got a spare 303.50 just hanging out? Probably not.

I do have insurance but I pay through the nose for it - almost 425.00 per month. Carrying private health insurance simply isn't a choice for most Americans and I do feel their pain. But it wasn't the bill that made my head spin - with the final line on the bill:

Insurance Disallowance - 282.18

My total - 21.32

So here is my beef - if I didn't have overinflated health insurance, I'd have to pay 303.50 rather than 21.32. But because my insurance negotiates the prices they will pay, I only have to pay 21.32. Now take note, my insurances isn't paying 282.18 - they are requiring that the lab company Write It Off.

Those who are uninsured don't have that luxury. They might be able to contact the lab and get the bill cut in half - but IMO, the crime is that they are BILLED that amount to begin with.

Do you ever get the feeling that all anyone ever wants is to get into your pockets? I know I feel that way and I'm sick and tired of it.

More Photos - The Brothers Hillstrand

The boys and I in Concord, NC. Andy is sticking his tongue out. They started laughing when they saw me and I tossed a stuffed bird at Andy. I told him he was in BIG trouble as this was Squacky's brother...CRISPY...and he was out for revenge. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then you need to see the last show.

A slightly better version of the photo from the Cleveland signing.

I can't figure out why my pics came out so badly. Normally my camera and photos are On Point. Just not lucky this time around. Of course it means the next time they're in town I will have to force myself to see them...I know, life is filled with sacrifice.

Johnathan and I in Concord, NC. I was coming north, he was headed south - two ships that pass in the night...

Okay, bad pun.

He threw his arm around me and whispered, 'didn't we just do this a few days ago?'

We had but that didn't stop us from posing again. LOL.

If nothing else, the weather down south was fabulous. For this Ohio girl - I could use all the warm weather I can get...and if you throw in a handsome man...where do I stand in line? :)

Much fun was had....I swear I only got about 3 hours sleep each time. I'm way too old for this craziness. :)

The Deadliest Men - The Brothers Hillstrand from Deadliest Catch

Yes, I know the photo is crappy.

The person taking the photo didn't know what they were doing...as we can tell. :)

Yes, if you squint you will see that is the Brother's Hillstrand from Discovery's Deadliest Catch. So how was I lucky enough to end up in a yummy Hillstrand sandwich? They were doing a signing in Cleveland so I headed up to get a book signed and here I am.

They were almost exactly as they appear on the show - warm, welcoming and just fun to hang out with.

After the signing we hit the bar (yes, I always make it a habit to pick up signing authors and take them out to get drunk - LOL!) and had a fun filled evening watching the latest episode of Deadliest Catch while downing the world famous Duck Farts - a drink from Alaska. They're really good and the recipe is below.

The funniest part of the evening was watching the show...then looking over to see Johnathan....then seeing Andy on tv....and there he was less than 2 feet away. Talk about SURREAL. They hadn't seen the show so we were yelling at the screen and they gave me all the scoop on the other kids on the show.

And what was the most important question I asked them? Does Sig go tanning? He's starting to look a little like George Hamilton....

Andy - thanks for letting me pester you unmercilessly with questions, see you soon.

Johnathan - it is out there man - and its YOURS for the taking - love you!

Duck Fart Recipe:

1 part Kahlua

1 part Irish Cream

1 part Crown Royal (Whiskey)

You can either layer it in a glass or shake it up with ice like a martini - Watch out, they will KICK your ass. :)

First Love

I was in the shower this morning and it hit me - if my breasts sag any more then I'll be in danger of tripping over them.

Oh wait, that's not my topic.

Do you remember your first love? You know - the one over which you took great pains to be 'ready' should you run into them? Just saying their name was enough to make you giddy for hours and you can't stop smiling like a fool when someone mentions them. Maybe you were in high school and that One Perfect Soul was in your history class and you absolutely obsessed over seeing them. Just a glance of their beloved face was enough to cause you to float on air the rest of the day.

Then, if you were really, really lucky - they brushed past you in the hall and their sleeve touched your arm. You swore to your friends you would never ever wash that arm again.

The motherlode came when they actually SPOKE to you. Ah...the sheer rapture of just hearing their sexy voice directed at you - their unknown love of their life. For the next two days you relive those seconds when they spoke to you...'did you know you have a bugger hanging out of your nose?' and you swear those words were spoken only to you and you alone. Never had something so utterly poetic been spoken to anyone else in the world. You Have Found The Greatest Of All Loves.

Remember that?

My first crush was the fourth grade - his name was Phillip and he moved away in the fifth. I was crushed, inconsolable....until the next cute boy came along. Yeah, I'm fickle at times. :)

My first real 'love' was in high school. His name was Johnny Jones (how original) and he worked at the skating rink. His co-worker (Doug of the frosted hair) was my best friend's crush so we went through the agonies of the damned getting ready to go skating.

First the hair had to be curled to within an inch of its life. Back in the early 80's this meant wrapping your hair in the curling iron and brandishing a can of Aqua Net at the same time. You sprayed your hair ON THE IRON until it crackled. Once you saw a whiff of smoke - it was ready.

Next was the makeup - heavy on the blue and applied with a palette knife. I wore so much mascara that I was in danger of gluing my eyes shut.

Next - the clothes. Now this was the most important part! Blue jeans - VERY TIGHT. If you could fit your finger between the waistband and your skin, they were too loose. We would dry our pants for HOURS before laying on the bed to zip them up. It was also the very last thing we'd put on as we didn't want our clothing to stretch before our loves saw us in our immaculate state.

Shirt - yes, a little cleveage was necessary - a lot was better. The goal was to fall down on the floor so they'd skate over and see if you were okay. Lots of cleavage would leave a good impression...on the floor maybe. :)

So this morning I was thinking, I don't believe that we ever fall in love with the same enthusiasm as we do that first time. People come and go from our lives and we begin building up this wall between us and the world where we guard our hearts even if only a little. I think it's sad and we're cutting ourselves off from the human experience even though it is understandable.

So your mission, should you chose to accept it, sometime this week find something that just amuses the hell out of you and THROW yourself into it with all the enthusiasm of a three year old. I think we would all be better off if we'd embrace that child side of ourselves and let them out to play. :)

13 Signs You're a 'Deadliest Catch' Fanatic

13 Signs You're a Deadliest Catch Fanatic 13. You hear the DC theme and your heart beats just a little faster.12. You catch yourself building a crab pot using only old fencing and duct tape.11. You then find yourself trying to toss said homemade crab pot into your tub and catch Red Gold, baby!10. Your pajamas have a photo of the Northwestern across the chest.9. You name your kids Edgar, Russell, Johnathan and Maverick.8. Your favorite game is pin the cigarette in Phil's mouth.7. You wake up screaming, 'Shut up and fish!'6. You think wearing an orange slicker is the latest in fashion statements.5. At your wedding, the song for your first dance is Bon Jovi's Dead or Alive.4. While on the treadmill you listen to the DC soundtrack.3. All your friends and family know not to call you when DC is on or you'll 'show them there's only one captain on this ship.'2. You keep hoping that in your next life you'll come back as a horse so Andy can 'whisper' to you.1. You are arrested in the local grocery store for feeling up the frozen crab while screaming, "big, big, big, big, big, big."

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James Frey....Fried....

I'm BACK and feelin' SNARKY!

In a recent Galley Cat Feed, author (koff....fraud....koff) James Frey announced that he 'feared and loathed' the press and wouldn't be doing any any other interviews.

Wait a minute - wasn't this revealed in an INTERVIEW? According to the article, his publisher asked him to do more press and he did this one interview...so I guess he was just following orders?

I've got news for Mr. Fried - if an author isn't willing to do something to promote their work, then they aren't serious about their craft. Doing the promotional work involved with writing is every author's least favorite part. Let's face it, our job forces us to be solitary creatures - does anyone think we want to be shoved out the front door in our panties?

Uh, no.

IMO, his 'fear and loathing' of the press is due to the fact that he lied and was outted by the press. He needs to put on his Big Boy Panties and face the mess he created instead of making lame excuses.

Karma can be a real bitch...and I just love her.

Shut up and FISH!

I've always been fascinated with the way the human brain works. My father taught me how to love my brain when I was a kid and it isn't really something I can describe very well. But if you think about a maze - like the ones you played with as a child - your brain is very much like that. You start out thinking about one thing such as buying milk then 5 seconds later you're contemplating just how much lint your belly button can hold.

Okay - its a vivid image but just go with it...

I'm an avid blog reader. I admit, I like the bits of gossip as much as the belly button lint pondering. I enjoy seeing how other's minds work and how they move from one topic to the next. Are they a ranter? (I am - I pick a rant then chew it to death) Are they a Meanderer? (a person who wanders from topic to topic, taking time to get to their goal) Are they a type A blogger? (all bullet points) Are they a mumbler? (someone who comments on a lot of things but never really tells you what they believe - I think they're afraid of commitment but thats just me)

So I openly admit that I've been reading the other blogs who have been commenting on my inadvertent kerfuffle regarding the recent RT conference. That said, I haven't commented on any of them. Why? Because my father taught me that it is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth (or keyboard) and prove it.

One of my favorite shows is Deadliest Catch on the Discovery channel. One of the captains, Sig Hansen, loves to say, 'Shut up and Fish,' when the crew gets to complaining. So rather than comment on the blogs, the only thing I have to say is -

'Shut up and Fish.' :)

Fantastic News...

I'm pleased to report that I'm not front page news on any of the blogs today...thankyouverymuch! :)

Yesterday I spent most of the day excavating my library/bedroom. I'm in the midst of redoing my bedroom so my bed is here in my library. The best part is if I sit at the computer for too long I only have to get up and fall sideways to get into bed.

The worst part is that I only have to get up and fall sideways into bed. :)

I find I'm watching more television now (I don't keep a tv in the bedroom) and since the tv and bed are in the same place...well, you get the picture.

If you believe / do Feng Shui then you already know when you hit a rough patch in your life, you need to move things around. Movement in your environment changes the energy flow and will enable you to perk up a bit. (unless you're me and move too much then wear yourself out and end up needing a nap!)

So I'm going to spend today and tomorrow putting my library to rights so that I can write and feel peaceful in here. With all the clutter I find it makes me edgy...that and I lose things. Nothing irritates me more than misplacing something that I know I was the last one to use / touch. So organizing and cleaning, for me, is a great way to relieve stress and frustration.

What do you do to relieve frustration?

Taking the High Road

One trick my father taught me was when I wake up in the morning, to automatically say, 'this is the first day of the rest of your life.' Okay, it is a little schmaltzy but it does serve as an important reminder - no matter what you do in life, that deed can be redeemed. You cannot change your history but you can change the path you're walking.

I grew up in a negative household. It was always about what bad thing was going to happen next. Both of my parents were ill and I was the major caretaker, I was the one that held it together and it was hard, harder than even I can imagine or remember.

In my late thirties I decided I'd had enough of that constant negativity and I decided to turn it around. Rather than the 'why me' mentality I'd picked up in childhood, I turned it around to 'if I have enough breath to bitch about it, then I'm doing better than many.' How true that is.

In the past few years I turned myself from a glass half empty to a glass half full personality and that is something I love about myself. A sense of humor and the ability to see through all the bull is what will get you through life with a lot less bumps than someone who is constantly negative. There is nothing that I can't handle - I can roll with the punches and come up smiling.

I lost sight of that for a few minutes.

There has been a lot of negativity swirling around me lately and I allowed myself to get sucked into it. I forgot one of my life 'rules', just because someone says something, that doesn't make it true.

Several people have been making erroneous negative statements about me and my person and after two weeks of nonstop negativity, I allowed myself to get sucked in yesterday. I was angry, depressed and feeling negative about everything until I remembered something important - they weren't talking about me.

One of my favorite ANTM moments is when some of the girls are gossiping about another girl and they were being very bitchy about it. 'Mama' stepped in and told them, 'when someone is hating on someone else, it isn't about that person. It's because the haters are feeling insecure or threatened by the person they are hating on.'

How true it is. I don't know why certain people have decided I'm their target of the moment but it really doesn't matter as sooner or later it will be someone else. Rather than poking at me they should be looking at themselves and their lives to try and determine why they are acting out in such a hateful fashion. It's their issue, not mine.

So repeat after me - Just because someone says something, it doesn't make it true.

So for those who continue to take shots at me, just imagine what you could accomplish if you used your talents for good rather than bad? :)