First Love

I was in the shower this morning and it hit me - if my breasts sag any more then I'll be in danger of tripping over them.

Oh wait, that's not my topic.

Do you remember your first love? You know - the one over which you took great pains to be 'ready' should you run into them? Just saying their name was enough to make you giddy for hours and you can't stop smiling like a fool when someone mentions them. Maybe you were in high school and that One Perfect Soul was in your history class and you absolutely obsessed over seeing them. Just a glance of their beloved face was enough to cause you to float on air the rest of the day.

Then, if you were really, really lucky - they brushed past you in the hall and their sleeve touched your arm. You swore to your friends you would never ever wash that arm again.

The motherlode came when they actually SPOKE to you. Ah...the sheer rapture of just hearing their sexy voice directed at you - their unknown love of their life. For the next two days you relive those seconds when they spoke to you...'did you know you have a bugger hanging out of your nose?' and you swear those words were spoken only to you and you alone. Never had something so utterly poetic been spoken to anyone else in the world. You Have Found The Greatest Of All Loves.

Remember that?

My first crush was the fourth grade - his name was Phillip and he moved away in the fifth. I was crushed, inconsolable....until the next cute boy came along. Yeah, I'm fickle at times. :)

My first real 'love' was in high school. His name was Johnny Jones (how original) and he worked at the skating rink. His co-worker (Doug of the frosted hair) was my best friend's crush so we went through the agonies of the damned getting ready to go skating.

First the hair had to be curled to within an inch of its life. Back in the early 80's this meant wrapping your hair in the curling iron and brandishing a can of Aqua Net at the same time. You sprayed your hair ON THE IRON until it crackled. Once you saw a whiff of smoke - it was ready.

Next was the makeup - heavy on the blue and applied with a palette knife. I wore so much mascara that I was in danger of gluing my eyes shut.

Next - the clothes. Now this was the most important part! Blue jeans - VERY TIGHT. If you could fit your finger between the waistband and your skin, they were too loose. We would dry our pants for HOURS before laying on the bed to zip them up. It was also the very last thing we'd put on as we didn't want our clothing to stretch before our loves saw us in our immaculate state.

Shirt - yes, a little cleveage was necessary - a lot was better. The goal was to fall down on the floor so they'd skate over and see if you were okay. Lots of cleavage would leave a good impression...on the floor maybe. :)

So this morning I was thinking, I don't believe that we ever fall in love with the same enthusiasm as we do that first time. People come and go from our lives and we begin building up this wall between us and the world where we guard our hearts even if only a little. I think it's sad and we're cutting ourselves off from the human experience even though it is understandable.

So your mission, should you chose to accept it, sometime this week find something that just amuses the hell out of you and THROW yourself into it with all the enthusiasm of a three year old. I think we would all be better off if we'd embrace that child side of ourselves and let them out to play. :)

Marrying for Love...or Money

Yesterday I happened to catch a few minutes of The View (I know, I couldn't run fast enough) and Joan Rivers was a guest host. Keeping in mind that she is a commedienne, she asked the question, "Would you rather marry for love, or money."

Of course the romantic in all of us want to scream, 'Love, of course' but, I'm afraid I have to hedge just a bit.

I'm forty-one (for twenty-nine more days at least) and I've been in love, serious, head over heels, I-want-to-breed-with-him love three times.

Guess what, I'm still single.

The first one - we grew apart. I was young and he was nine years older than I was. Trust me, a nineteen year old really doesn't give good conversation.

The second one - turned out to be gay. Hmm, I knew we got along just a little too well and he had fabulous taste in furniture. I caught him wearing my leopard print skirt early on in the relationship - I should've known then.

And the final one presented me with a pregnant mistress on Christmas Eve when I expected a diamond ring. "I love ya honey, but she's nineteen and a gymnist." (refer to number one)

Don't get me wrong - I'd love to marry for love but anymore I'll take the cash. Looking back, no matter how hard I wanted those relationships to work, I ended up paying for it in the end. Next time around, let him pick up the tab.

Car-gasms!

I spent the past week on the road which is something I just love to do. I cannot get enough traveling in each year and I can only wish someone would finally invent a teleport device. I'd be zipping everywhere!

As a passionate lover of American Heavy Metal, I have a big love for hot cars. When I was in high school I would date the boy with the hottest car rather than the best personality. Shallow? Yes, but a girl has to have her standards. :)

One of my current loves is the Ford Mustang. When I was a child my father had a midnight blue convertable with white interior. SUH-WEEEEET! I begged him to let me have the car when I turned sixteen and it didn't happen. He sold it. Later on he told me he would've kept it had he known how much of a collectors item it would become.

DOH!

My family had a long affair with the volkswagon. In the early seventies we had every model they made, the beetle, super beetle, hatchback and stationwagon. I was always fascinated by the fact they could float like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Another car I adore is the Thunderbird. I like the originals and the new ones though unfortunately they have stopped making them. (sniff) That was going to be my mid-life crisis car but I'm thinking I might swing back to the Mustang.

In the mid-ninties I purchased a Chevy pickup truck. I loved that truck - it was fab. I am big into gardening and having that truck bed to haul around my purchases is so incredibly handy. I'm thinking I may purchase a pickup for my next car.

Currently I have a Jeep and I adore that car. It is a Liberty 4x4 and its a tough little thing. I drove all around the Gulf Coast doing the Katrina thing and it never let me down. Seeing that I practically lived in the thing for several months, that is something. :)

So what is your fantasy car?