Say WHAT?

If you were watching CNN this morning then you heard about the new 'rule' United Airlines is instituting. http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/1529524,CST-NWS-united16.article

Yes, you read that correctly. United Airlines (the bad guys) have instituted a policy in which overweight passengers may be forced to purchase two airline tickets in order to fly with them.

Wow, what next? Smelly people will have to charter their own planes? Skinny people will have to sit two per seat? Better yet, the skinny people plane can have double the seats added...

Their rationale is they received 700 complaints...out of 63 million flyers who used United Airlines. Now that is really messed up. They are going to piss off roughly 40% of their passengers (and that's a kind statistic if you go by the obesity rate in America) so that less than one one-hundreth of a percent of their passengers won't be annoyed? And I thought Amazon was a corporate bully for pulling their sales rankings - United Airlines makes them look like altar boys.

One thing I've learned in spades is some people will never, ever be happy. You can never do enough, say enough or give them enough to make them pleasant to be around. In short, bitterness is more than a fashion-statement - its a lifestyle. I would hazard a guess that these odious types comprise the majority of the 700 whiners.

Other mere mortals, like you and I, have a little-acknowledge facet of our personalities called...compassion. (Shhh, don't let that get around or everyone will want it) When we see someone in an uncomfortable situation we feel for them and we try to lend a smile when we can. We are the 63 million...

This is why United Airlines is the unlucky recipient of the J.C. Wilder...You SUCK award...

Amazon in the Naughty Chair...

Remember the show Hee Haw? There was a skit that started out with the intro song:

Despair and agony on me...whoa!
Depression excessive misery...whoa!
If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all...whoat!

That is Amazon's new theme song because if pissing off your customer base was an Olympic sport - Amazon would win the gold by a Big Margin.

So what are they doing now? In a nutshell, when you do a search on Amazon the back end uses the sales ranking to determine which titles are returned in the search results. So in order to find an author's books, they need to have a sales ranking on their book pages.

Amazon (aka, the Evil Empire) has decided to start sectioning off 'adult' content for the protection of our delicate sensibilities. When a publisher sets up a book, they select terms that would apply to the book such as, erotic, erotic romance, sex, love, mystery, violence - you get the picture - this is called Metadata. At Amazon, customers can also select tags for each book so if your book is tagged as erotic - well you end up on the naughty list. Consequently, if the book you are looking for is tagged as erotic, then it won't show up on the search results.

So what have they removed? Erotic romances for one. Go search for Dominique Adair and should have at least 10 books...only one comes up. Heaven forbid if you're looking for GLBT titles because you'll be out of luck. JL Langley's My Fair Captain will only come up if you search for the complete title and there are thousands of others who've had their sales ranking stripped including Maya Banks, Jaci Burton.

But you can still search for sex toys...

According to Publisher's Lunch, Amazon has reported that this is an 'error' on their end and it will be fixed shortly. Uh...right.

Want to sound off? Amazon Customer Service: ecr@amazon.com or via phone: 1-800-201-7575 and there is a petition: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/in-protest-at-amazons-new-adult-policy

Corporate Bad Guys

Small Publisher's Feel the Power of Amazon's BUY Button

This story began earlier in the year when Amazon demanded a deeper discount from some publisher's than is the norm which is 50%. This time around it is Hachette Publishing - a larger publisher in the UK.

The publisher’s chief executive, Tim Hely Hutchinson, sent a defiant letter to many of his authors explaining the “oddities” of vanishing buy buttons. The online retailer, he said, was demanding a bigger slice. Publishers traditionally sell books to retailers at a discount off the recommended retail price, but Amazon was demanding more than its existing 50 percent.

The dispute with Hachette is not the first in which Amazon has resorted to removing the “buy now” buttons for certain books. In the spring it started disabling the icons for some small publishers in the United States that resisted Amazon’s demand that they use an Amazon-owned company, BookSurge, for print-on-demand services. Amazon is the dominant seller of such titles.

I used to love Amazon when it was the new kid on the block. They were so cutting edge and offered the best discounts...then they turned into a corporate monolith intent upon screwing those of whom their income is dependent. As an author, I applaud Hachette for standing up to the suck-tastic bully that Amazon has become.

Amazon - you suck.

And the award goes to...

For some reason, Maxim magazine has started sending me issues even though I've never read the mag nor requested it. Seeing that I'm female - that hasn't deterred them from wasting more trees in order to give me a good laugh.

Out of curiosity, I opened one and scanned the pages. It is a nice, glossy magazine that would appeal to the hormones of young men as its designed to do. Should it surprise me that every photo of a woman, with the exception of an unflattering Photo of Hillary Clinton - was naked or in lingerie?

Women on their backs with their legs in the air - high heels of course because no one could walk in those things so you'd have to be on your back in order to not fall off and get hurt - nude with only a towel - sexy tousled hair - noisy lipstick - sprawled on a bed - in lingerie stretched out on the floor - mouths open...you get the picture.

And they say romance is soft-core porn?

Any photo of a woman with clothing on was unflattering and usually an advertisement. One was a housewife in the cliched terry cloth robe, curlers in the hair, green face mask - next to a woman in lingerie.

On the other hand there were the men. All dressed in suits with women in skimpy night-out attire hanging on their arms...that's what draws us ya know. Suits and enough hair product to dent steel - that REALLY turns us on.

Men...you want to know how to impress the ladies? Read a romance novel - that will get you much farther than Maxim will.

What the...

The funniest thing happened to me today. I had to pop out and pick up some cover flats I had printed at Office Max. When the guy saw the covers he started asking me questions and I told him I was the author.

Slowly a number of the Office Max employees wandered over to see the cover so I gave them my card which has my name, URL etc and the line "Vampires, Witches and Werecats...oh my!" Another customer asked for a card so I gave her one too and she tells me how much respect she has for writers.

Not two seconds later, she gives it back and says,

"I'm not into that kind of thing."

The first thought that popped into my head was, "So you don't want to hear about the bondage books then?"

Instead I said something about writing all different types of genres but she wasn't interested in listening to me. She'd already presented me with her back by then. So I guess what she meant to say was that she has respect for writers who create what she deems acceptable. Needless to say I was snickering all the way out the door.

Now, I could care less that she handed the card back. I don't embarass easily so do what you will. What got me was that she ASKED for the card and then snubbed me because she didn't like what it had to say. I don't know about anyone else but my Mama taught me to accept what people give you then throw it away later if you don't want it.

It's called manners.

So what is the moral to the story? If you can't laugh at yourself then others will spend time laughing at you.

So the You SUCK award goes to...the lady in the Office Max. :)