Monday, June 18, 2007

Eight Reasons Why Being a Girl is Tedious

Pantyhose - need I say more?

Bras - In general I don't have an issue with bras but there are days when I don't want to get dressed that I throw on a tshirt and sweats then feel GUILTY about not wearing a bra. What is up with that? If people don't want to look at my sagging twins then get the hell out of my cleavage!

High Heels - I realize that Catherine deMedici is the 'mother' of the high heels but why should I have to pay for her lack of height with deformed feet? High heels simply aren't natural and I ain't wearing them!

Big Hair - why is it men can roll out of bed and go into public meanwhile women will be called 'sloppy' or 'lazy' if we don't tend to our hair?

Sitting down to pee - When you're dressed up (in the afforementioned hose and heels) I absolutely hate bathroom trips. I don't know about anyone else but I can never get my hose back into a position that feels comfy.

PMS - I mean, COME ON. It's not bad enough that everyone around us makes us crazy then the universe tosses in some hormonal hijinks? When is enough, enough?

Thong Panties - Okay, before sending me the emails...I do like thong panties once you get used to them. What I don't like is when they get lost in your backside and you have to root around to find them again. (Yes, I have a big butt)

Polite and Accomodating - I'm pointing the finger at Donna Reed for this one. When I was a kid, I was raised to be polite and accomodating. I strive to make people feel welcome, make sure they have whatever they need - you get the picture. Anymore, that means you're a pansy. "Oh, JC won't mind if I bring my twelve kids to her Ladies Night..."

Yes, I will.