Thursday, August 16, 2007

Marrying for Love...or Money

Yesterday I happened to catch a few minutes of The View (I know, I couldn't run fast enough) and Joan Rivers was a guest host. Keeping in mind that she is a commedienne, she asked the question, "Would you rather marry for love, or money."

Of course the romantic in all of us want to scream, 'Love, of course' but, I'm afraid I have to hedge just a bit.

I'm forty-one (for twenty-nine more days at least) and I've been in love, serious, head over heels, I-want-to-breed-with-him love three times.

Guess what, I'm still single.

The first one - we grew apart. I was young and he was nine years older than I was. Trust me, a nineteen year old really doesn't give good conversation.

The second one - turned out to be gay. Hmm, I knew we got along just a little too well and he had fabulous taste in furniture. I caught him wearing my leopard print skirt early on in the relationship - I should've known then.

And the final one presented me with a pregnant mistress on Christmas Eve when I expected a diamond ring. "I love ya honey, but she's nineteen and a gymnist." (refer to number one)

Don't get me wrong - I'd love to marry for love but anymore I'll take the cash. Looking back, no matter how hard I wanted those relationships to work, I ended up paying for it in the end. Next time around, let him pick up the tab.