Sunday, November 06, 2005

November 6, 2005 - The Great Bread Debacle of 2005

*names have been changed to protect the foolish

So today I decided to make some bread. Since I'm on a deadline (which just got tighter after I received an email of another sale - YEAH!) I opt for the concept of low maintenance cooking. This means I shove something into a pot and leave it until it overcooked and tasteless because I forget to eat. This time it was an innocent chunk of beef that I tossed into the crock pot along with onions and herbs. I decided that I'd like to have some fresh bread to go with my cow.

That's where I went astray.

I used to be a fabulous bread maker. My first ex boyfriend (whom I will lovingly call SPUD*) and I would bake bread every weekend in the winter. We used to make white, wheat, challah, Italian herb - whatever would take our fancy. At Easter Spud would even make Hot Cross Buns - what kind of man makes hot cross buns?? Anyway, it has been years since I tried to bake anything quite that challenging but I can usually make a decent loaf of bread.

Not this time.

I'm sad to report that my bread is now being used to shore up the foundation of my house. Yes, it turned into a brick. So what went wrong? Bad yeast. I should know better as I don't bake enough anymore to allow the yeast to survive in my refrigerator for months on end. Lesson learned - buy fresh yeast prior to trying this again.

As for Spud, we split more than 16 years ago and he's married to a woman with the same name as a French poodle. I'll bet her bread isn't hard.


Anonymous said...

LOL. Glad it did come of some use. *g*

Daisy Dexter Dobbs said...

This so typically illustrates the real life of a writer, JC. Readers picture us bejeweled and wearing satin slip dresses while indulging in champagne and chocolate truffles as we write. Reality, however, is tangled hair, ratty old T-shirts and sweatpants, and what-the-hell-was-I-thinking-when-I-threw-this-together entrees accompanied by brick-hard bread and reheated coffee. :-0

Congrats on the new contract!

J.C. Wilder said...

Daisy - I spent most of my days chasing my new puppy around and smelling like wet dog. My life has never been the truffle / champagne version. :0

I did hit Starbucks a day or two ago and didn't realize I was still in my houseslippers. Mmm, luckily they know me there. LOL!

Thanks for the congrats!


Anonymous said...

You need a new entry, sweetie. :-)

J.C. Wilder said...

What are you trying to say?? That I'm BORING????

I swear I need a wife to keep up with my life. LOL!