Sunday, April 20, 2008

RT - the pieces that get stuck between your teeth

I'm home and safe in my bed covered in very happy dogs. I literally hit my bed face down and woke up to the debris of a Reese's Big Cup (luvs them like a fat kid loves brownies) sprinkled across my pillow. I guess I can count myself lucky that if I did sleep eat, at least it was a Reese's and not a pillow...tv remote...

This morning I felt like a sweat sock owned by a fourteen year old boy. I've been running on 4 - 5 hours of sleep a night and I'm a girl that LOVES my sleep so I'm happy to be home in my soft clothes.

Sunday morning was the Samhain Publishing party and it was such fun. We raced around to setup the room, had tons of giveaways and yummy food. The California Roll was EXCELLENT. It must have come from outside of the hotel as it was the best thing I had to eat all week. :)

Two of the lovely cover models were there, one was Fred and the other...don't know his name. (If anyone knows who it was, please let me know as I'd love to give him a shout out) They were kind enough to assist me in pulling the names for the drawings and allow me to tease them. They were perfect gentlemen and I'm pleased to report that the readers had lots of fun and no clothing was removed!

A huge thank you to everyone who attended and allowed my to perform my Wylder Road Show one final time. I'm quite happy to report the public Wylder has been shoved (kicking and screaming) into her coffin not to come out until the Lori Foster Event in June. (Sorry Lori, I can only keep her locked up so long - even prisoners are allowed exercise)

Now onto the juicy stuff -

As I mentioned in a previous post, last night was the Dorchester party and it was great fun. I'm a wanna be Prom Queen like most women and I love chair dancing. The Butterscotch Martini Girls and I shared a table with Jo the Librarian (secretly a wild woman in disguise) and several other fabulous women. We had much fun and enjoyed the band (thanks to Kathy Love and the Impalers) and watched the show. The theme was boots and there were shoes the likes of which I've never seen before. I don't know about anyone else but DAYUM - I'd have killed myself just taking one step in some of them.

How did those girls walk on their toes like that?

My usual way of keeping myself amused at conferences is to hit the bar and remain there until the cleaning staff try to run a duster over me. I have a severly degenerated left leg due to a bad break about 20 years ago so walking and standing can be difficult for me so I let people come to me in the bar. Most of my friends call it holding court, I call it a necessity as I can't do what I used to do...but I will again soon so dance floors...WATCH OUT. Wilder will be In Da Howse!

So last night I spent 3 hours in the bar watching baseball.

Baseball you say...

Yes, baseball - now let me explain the game. We have teams consisting of individuals in said bar and various actions on their part or their opposing team or themselves are how we score. For example -

Team 1 - EC Caveman (and the title suits him)
Team 2 - Blonde girl in stripper garb

Scoring
A touch between the shoulder and waist - first base
A touch on the thigh - second base
A leg around the oposing teams leg - third base
Grabbing the crotch - HOME RUN

How we play - We have a commentator (just call me Howard Cosell with better fashion sense) and we have the spectators. anyone can call out a play and when the teams part that is the end of the inning. When they come back together it was BATTER UP.

And yes, I was the one yelling this in the bar.

It started slowly with myself and a few friends. I was sitting on the right side of the bar facing the bar when the two teams came into view. Seated at the bar - team one was on the phone for at least 20 minutes while team two tried to run the bases multiple times until team one would strike them out.

Additional commentary - first off, why would you want to put your hands in the lap of a man WHO IS TALKING ON THE CELL PHONE AND BRUSHING YOU OFF? Have some respect for yourself woman - its no wonder 'men are pigs' when the ladies are so willing to debase themselves like this. Never allow anyone to treat you with the respect that you deserve.

NEVER.

Commentary over.

Over the course of three hours my group ebbed and flowed. At one point we had THIRTEEN people in chairs lined up in a row watching the rest of the bar like it was a live play. Now I ask you, how can people have NOT known what we were doing?

During the evening I called the plays, the spectators mingled to get the up close and in your face (or crotch) action. At one time we had at least 40 -people playing the game and the teams were oblivious. Of course John DeSalvo thought we were hootting him.

As if. Dude...its just not about you. (Oh, and for you bar afficinados - he was the one who removed the tampon from the Scene's sign - wash your HANDS, please)

So on the game went until a third team came on the scene. A woman in black velvet who was trying to make a move on team one. Team two wasn't having none of it so teams two and three were involved in a power struggle while team one hit on a new chick, aka team four.

Ladies - please refer to the commentary above.

Then along came teams five and six. For those of you lucky conference goers - team five was the CAVEman I refer to as potted plant boy (thanks to Cassie Ryan). I heard other references to him such as mop head and porn star. (Yes, this was the caveman with porn roots...and speaking of roots - DUDE, that is the worst weave ever. Next time try to spent at least 2.00 dolla on your tracks and avoid Kim's Cheap Weaves And Press On Crotches - Sally's Beauty Supply is so much better)

Sorry - momentary diversion.

Anyway - teams five and six arrive and I just happened to be up by the bar with the cheerleaders. yes I know baseball doesn't have cheerleaders but I'm a football girl so there you go. One of the cheerleaders said that when team five saw me he looked as if he'd been hit in the face with his bad weave. (Oh, and another clue - hair doesn't grow 10 inches in one year unless you're a chia pet) I thought that was funny as I tore him a new one (in a quiet and ladylike way of course) about acting like chipmunk boy in the bar on tuesday evening and bouncing off furniture. There are quite a few attendees with canes and wheelchairs - running around like a beserker isn't attractive nor a good idea.

So anyway - after a few hours the game died down. I think team 2 did hit a homer (caught them sucking face outside) and I was pretty sure I caught at least a crotch grab which was a home run. All said and done, I think team two did an outstanding job of running the bases and she definitely wins an award for most gold chain on one outfit.

Congratulations - you've won a compimentary pair of panties and a rabies shot. Good show! (Okay, that was bitchy even for me)

I then spent quite a bit of time chatting with CJ and Rodney, both of whom I adore. As we were sitting there there another show ensued, this one involved a flogger and rear ends. As the shouting and camera flashes increased, Rodney and I looked at one another and we said "I can't be involved in this" and we left.

Quotable quote from one of the cavemen - "This has been five days of pure hell."

Sometimes there are no words.

23 comments:

Cindy Holby said...

Thanks for the bar update as your pretty fairy had her own drama going on as usual. So sorry I missed the ballgame as I love sports but when a girl gets to drink champagne with Mr. Romance 08 then that's what she's going to do.

I'm glad you enjoyed Sly and CJ. I have to admit that I also misjudged some of the guys, (not plant head by any means) and meant a wonderful model named Brian who has the exact same personality as me. Yes, we bonded and now I can't wait for Orlando next year.

ddurance said...

OMG, what wonderful commentary. I know what you mean about ladies having respect for themselves. Look at concerts with all the screaming and crying girls in the audience, you just don't see guys doing that, it is degrading. I mean every person is just as human as the next.

Cindy,
Champagne with Mr. Romance.....what can I say about that, except that it sounds like heaven.

I hope to party with all of you in Orlando next year too as it is only several hours from me. Yippee!

Writer & Cat said...

Sounds like a typical night in a singles bar, only funnier :)

Carolan Ivey said...

[[typical night in a singles bar]]

...except some of the players weren't single.

Which upped my squick factor a bit...

Writer & Cat said...

Neither are a good number of the players in a singles bar *heh*

Kate Douglas said...

JC: There are NO words... because the ones you used said it so well...

Tawny Taylor said...

Hey JC,

Sorry to ruin the fun, but later on that night, I learned something interesting. Let’s just say that it’s sometimes *very* easy to make an assumption and misjudge people.

I’ll admit I was guilty.

Would that ballgame have been half as fun if we’d known those women were the cavemen's girlfriends?

Marianne LaCroix said...

I must have seen the preshow going on with Team 1 and 2 over at The Pub. I swore to my "Partner in Crime" roomie that the girl with the gold chains (and not much else) was a hooker. They must have played the main event over at the lobby bar afterwards.

I got to sit down and chat with one of the cover model contestants, Chris Howell, while the preshow was going on. I had a few meals with Chris last year and this year. Sweet guy, total gentleman. He was definitely one of the few class acts walking around.

As for the EC party, I missed the "show" as well as the stage intro for the authors. I came late after all that was through. I stayed 30 minutes and walked out.

The cover models... The veterans like Sly, Jason, Andrei, and Brooks were all so wonderful. I met some of the contestants, not all, but I can say Fred and Chris are classy men. I do think the guys (the Mr Romance contestants)contracted and judged for decent behavior during the event should be the ones highlighted for all events. This includes the EC party.

I think I have a lot more to say, but I will do it on my blog. I had a good time despite the horrible hotel. I heard RT considered changing hotels at the last minute before the conference. I wish they had.

J.C. Wilder said...

Cindy - you were the prettiest fairy of them all...except for Kevin. He was pretty hot.

Tawny - you missed the point of the game. It wasn't that the teams were picking up chicks, it was the random groping I was keeping track of. I could care less if it was a wife, mother or girlfriend - putting your hands in someone's crotch was just a bit much.

Jaynie said...

Yup, Dakota and I went up in the elevator the same time as you and Rodney. Once those antics started it stopped being funny. Your commentary, however, was hilarious - and that cover model it was directed at was one of the worst sleezes I've had to be in the same room with.

Jaynie

Tawny Taylor said...

Ahh, I see now. I thought it was the picking-up part. I gotta say, that red dress did nothing for that woman. I'm thinking she didn't realize that because the hotel doesn't have full length mirrors in the room.

Someone scored a home run? I guess I left too early.

Now, for me, the flogging thing went too far that night. Wrong place. Wrong time. And wrong subbie (a guy with Down's syndrome?!)

Brit Blaise said...

I'm the BMG...Butterscotch Martini Girl who didn't get to go. Now see what I missed.

Brit

Babe Ruth said...

I am really SORRY that you don't have anything better to do but watch people and make judgements. I thought this is the RT convention, like go to workshops or promote whatever you are promoting. Maybe you are really lonely and people don't pay attention to you so this is your way of getting attention. First of all you don't know me personally n I don't know you, I don't even know what you look like but people have told me what u LOOK LIKE and how u r. I would really appreciate it if u get to know people first b4 you make comments about them. I think thats what Bob Costas or sports commentators do. Give me a chance maybe u might even like me, maybe not but atleast u tried to get to know me. By the way if u didn't know, BASEBALL is AMERICAS favorite past time.... Go Yankees!!!

Babe Ruth said...

Tawny thanks for kind of sticking up for us. You r a sweetheart.....

J.C. Wilder said...

Welcome Babe Ruth and thanks for joining blogger just to write a comment to little old me. So when someone described me and my personality, I'm sure they were nothing but kind and truthful. :)

At no time, in any of my posts, did I make a judgement call upon any of the attendees of RT or the baseball gamers. The point to the game wasn't who they were, it was the inappropriate behavior they were exibiting.

If you have contact with the young woman in the red dress, please let her know that I said she's selling herself way too short. I spoke to her and she seemed like a lovely woman and she shouldn't put up with a man who treated her with apathy and laughed at her the way he did.

Even you have to admit that when two people have their hands in each others crotches or are french kissing in the middle of the bar, thats plain tacky. Sexy isn't pawing someone in a bar, it's listening to them, touching their hand, opening doors...

Most people don't want to go to a bar to watch groping and tonsil inspections so I'm not alone in this.

As for being lonely...uh...no. My phone won't stop ringing and all I want is for people to latch onto something even more scandalous than little old me.

But I really do want to thank you for posting here. So many others are talking behind my back but at least you had the balls to come here and state how you feel. If I return to RT, I owe you a drink. I can guarantee that if we sat down together we'd probably really like one another.

JC

Babe Ruth said...

Thanks JC for commenting back, c think we're starting to like each other already. Anyways I spoke to the LADY with the beautiful red dress ("seemed like a lovely woman")as u say Hmmm n not a HOOKER by the way, n she said she never had a conversation with you. Anyways yes I can say I have the guts to defend myself I would personally tell u in front of ur face, but unfortunately I just found out this a.m. Comments about her dress is also not necessary, alot of women out there wish they can wear something like that, but to me it's not what u wear its how ur are as a person. About touching each others crotch NOT! maybe kissing, but I think it's ok to kiss it's a way to show affection towards one another ( come on u r into romance). I have been in lots of bars n nite clubs n I c it all the time, couples kissing, But I don't go out of my way to write about it. The way I look at it, this world would be better off if people just worry about themselves not others, look in the mirror n see how PERFECT U R and then thats the ONLY WAY you should comment, judge or base your opinion of others n if ur NOT PERFECT please NO comments from the peanut gallery. Oh n by the way she was only there because she n her friends are readers but didn't know anything about RT. So I invited her to c how fun RT is and maybe next year she n her friends would join RT. Not anymore after she read ur blog. As far as the man who treated her with apathy n laughed at her Hmmmmmm ????????

Babe Ruth said...

JC one more thing why r u so worried about what others are doing anyways? Just curious...Ciao

J.C. Wilder said...

Babe Ruth - (not a HOOKER by the way, n she said she never had a conversation with you)

I never said she was a hooker - that was a comment by another blog reader. She did have a short conversation with me as CJ introduced me to her and her first name starts with 'K'.

(Comments about her dress is also not necessary, alot of women out there wish they can wear something like that)

You're possibly right but I'm not one of them. As I stated in another post, I don't feel the need to wear clothing that shows off my sexuality as I feel that is something a woman carries on the inside. Even when I was a size 14 I didn't dress in such a provacative fashion, it just isn't who I am.

(I think it's ok to kiss it's a way to show affection towards one another)

I agree with you that a little kiss is fine but Public Displays of Affection as in groping, and sucking tongue isn't. Call me old fashioned but it's tacky. For many of us this is a professional conference and for the gentleman she was with it should've been too. He was not only representing a publisher, he was 'portraying' a romance hero and his behavior was less than heroic.

(judge or base your opinion of others n if ur NOT PERFECT please NO comments from the peanut gallery)

The interesting thing here is that you keep implying that I said something negative about her as a person, I never did nor would I. My main comments about her ACTIONS was the PDAs and the touching, not her soul. I saw things that the gentleman did that I'm sure she didn't such as when he was laughing at her. My comment about that was for her to not accept anything less than she deserved and that is a good man who appreciated her. I've been at several conferences with her bar partner and IMO, he is not looking out for her best interests. In several cases friends and readers alike attached the word 'sleeze' to his name.

(she was only there because she n her friends are readers but didn't know anything about RT)

Well, it is possible we aren't talking about the same person. According to several of the other models and cavemen, she came with him.

(why r u so worried about what others are doing anyways?)

I'm not. My concern is the recent degredation in the reputation of this conference and in one of my publishers (which the gentleman represented). The majority of Big Name authors won't come to RT because of the circus-like atmosphere and who loses out? The readers (and me, I wanna see them too!)

Once you get to know me you will see that I'm very much a live and let live person. This con used to be great fun and celebrating romance along with the readers and authors.

Now it has taken a porn turn and all you hear and see is sex, breasts and bad behavior. I'm not the only one who feels this way, hundreds of others do as well. The only difference between them and I is I'm a little more visible than they are. Why some sites picked up on my blog, I have no idea - but there you have it.

I'm serious about buying you a drink. :)

Brit Blaise said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brit Blaise said...

I missed RT this year, but, speaking for myself, I find it unsavory when the models are unprofessional. They bring a lot of fun to the show, but when their behavior distracts from the event, I find it distasteful.

And I don’t like PDA’s. Am I in the minority? Don’t think so… Hence the saying…”Hey, buddy! Get a room!”

Tawny Taylor said...

Hi there, Babe Ruth!

This has been a very interesting conversation to follow. So glad you popped in to post.

I think the key thing to remember when it comes to RT is that there are ALWAYS people watching. Everywhere. And they are going to make assumptions and draw conclusions. So whether you're there as a reader, author, book seller or cover model, it's wisest to act professionally no matter where you are and who you're with.

I've been going to RT for three years now. I'm hardly a veteran, but I quickly learned that even the most innocent action (even one that might be okay in another environment) that can be mistaken for something else may draw negative attention to the parties involved. Having fun is just fine. It's a matter of keeping it to a certain level, not crossing the line.

BTW, I was critical of that dress, and I could wear it. I'm not jealous. It's a matter of my being concerned about sending a certain message to the many editors, agents, booksellers, reviewers and industry professionals I'm there to network with. I am looking to have fun but also garner their respect. It's a tough balancing act, especially considering the many prejudices ebook authors and publishers face.

I don't know who you are or why you came to RT. And I'm not trying to be critical. Just to give you a bit of advice. Take it. Ignore it. Tell me I'm full of you-know-what. I'm simply trying to help.

I hope you and your friends will come back to RT next year, and I hope you have fun. Just remember, there are over a thousand people there, armed with cameras, looking for something juicy to shoot and snark about on their blogs :) Ideally, if it's going to be your picture on their blog, you want it to be a shot of you doing something good and uplifting to the industry.

Kate Douglas said...

Tawny wrote: Just remember, there are over a thousand people there, armed with cameras, looking for something juicy to shoot and snark about on their blogs :) Ideally, if it's going to be your picture on their blog, you want it to be a shot of you doing something good and uplifting to the industry.===

Unfortunately, Tawny, if you're doing something good and uplifting for the industry, you probably won't make it on someone's blog! Yours is an excellent post, by the way--impressions can last a long time, and if you make a bad one, you're going to be stuck with it for...uh, forever? Yep...forever.

Tawny Taylor said...

Ohmygosh, yes, Kate. It's hard to get "good" press; so much easier to get bad.