Friday, April 18, 2008

Day 3 - The Shame Continues...

My first RT was in 1994 in Nashville, TN. Being the wide-eyed Midwestern girl, I was utterly fascinated with everything that went on around me. The authors I adored were like rock stars to me, the parties were hilarious (I mean, where else can a grown woman dress like a fairy?) and the cover models were dreamy and gallant - just like the heroes they portrayed on the front of my favorite romances.

Skip forward 14 years and RT is losing its fabulosity. Some of the authors that I thought were rock stars still are! I was terribly excited to see Bertrice Small for the first time in quite a few years. She is still funny, sweet and touched to meet each and every person that walks up to her. Her husband was with her and i know he's been very ill but it was great to see him looking so good.

Roberta Gellis and Mary Balogh are also in attendance and these lovely ladies are of the same royal fabric as Ms. Small. Friendly, outgoing - they are humble and truly touched when we, the unworthy, stop to worship at the tips of their shoes for a mere moment. The hours of utter pleasure I had at the hands of these amazing women are immeasurable...(get out of the gutter you freaks!) and yes, I'm a silly fan girl.

Yesterday I met Kelley Armstrong, Melissa Marr, Jennifer St. Giles and Rachel Vincent - all fabulous paranormal authors. I was squealing like a little girl...

For the most part the parties are still great fun. The ballroom setup for the fairy ball was stunning. The theme was Under the Sea and they had decorations that hung from the ceiling to simulate water and when thelights went down they shimmered like water. the costumes were numerous and they really set the tone for the evening - fantasy....and wings. (they can be dangerous...there are probably more than a few scratched corneas this morning!)

And then there are the cover models...displaying very ungallant behavior. Well, let me rephrase that...some of them are lovely. Well mannered, courteous - exactly what one would expect in someone who hoped to portray one of our fabulous heroes.

The others, a motley gaggle of strippers and one triple X rated porn star - yes, a porn star - groping people and generally offending a great many attendees. Of course when a few of these gems stage a 9/11 tribute at the EC Party (it was during an SOS military salute - a cause that Kathryn Falk, the founder of RT, has thrown her voice and cash behind) came on stage in military regalia and proceeded to strip and grope themselves. What does grabbing your dick have to do with a tribute to those fallen on 9/11?

First off, dressing in a faux military outfit and stripping could be sexy and over the top - but during a TRIBUTE to the soldiers? A TRIBUTE to 9/11?


Of course if that weren't enough to turn the stomach - the X rated simulated sex on stage was enough to send people out in droves. A woman (can't call her a lady!) was stretched out on the stage with a stripper simulating sex with his dick positioned over her mouth. It just so happened that while this was going on...her top came down.

I know, it happens to me all the time. I go to the grocery store with a porn star mounted on my chin all the time - its the new rage. Whoever said I wasn't a trend setter?

Somehow, in the rush to gather a group of knuckle-dragging children, someone forgot to tell them they were supposed to be GENTLEMEN. Then again, this crowd of testosterone driven two year olds can barely pronounce it let alone spell it.

The first year my favorite cover model was Dr. Bob, a darling emergency room surgeon from Dallas. He was tall, handsome and didn't grab his crotch or lose his clothing...not once! This year there are no faves. The fantasy is gone. If I want to see men groping themselves, I'll go to a dive bar for free rather than pay more than 1k to attend RT.

Those who know me know I'm not a prude - not even close. Hell, I traveled with an alternative band for several years and I work with 70 testosterone laden police officers - very few things ever faze me. This has taken the cake. For me, the 'fantasy' aspect of RT is gone and this could very well be my last year. I'm about the books and the fun - not strippers and groping people.

SO - onto the FUN stuff.

Cindy Colby Hodge was resplendent in her fairy costume. Elegant (well, not when she was wandering around the bar with no shoes and whacking people in the head with her ji-normous wings) and too cute for color tv (well, not cuter than McDreamy but close). I have many photos - will post later.

As usual there was much scandal surrounding Ms. Hodge. Our lovely and most favorite fairy (sorry Cheyenne) was summarily tossed from the fairy ball last night by RT staff. Why? Because she was 'monopolizing' a cover model. Hmm, seeing that she and said model are friends outside of RT...well, you get the picture. If you see Cindy - just ask her about it or post a note here. She'll be reading this later today.


The stunningly beautiful Linnea Sinclair was in the bar handing out balls that glow. No, don't ask.

Jennifer 'yeep' Dunne was in residence and much yeeping was heard. She laughed so hard that she ended up on the floor twice. the sad thing was she doesn't drink - I'd hate to see her with a few cocktails in her!

After the fairy ball many party goers crammed into the bar. Some of the costumes were just lovely. I could tell many had spent quite a few hours crafting their amazing looks while some others...well...I think they didn't have any mirrors in their rooms because their mamas would've slapped them down if they'd have been here. Someone was wearing panties with blackfishnets on top - noskirt.

Uh...what about that says fairy or water?

My favorite was the woman who wore panties under a sheer pink skirt...and she was at least 45 with the sense to know better.

When did RT turn into a What Not to Wear episode ?

Hey, I'm a fat woman and I know to keep my shit covered for the sake of blinding others with my white flesh. Not to mention blinding someone if my breast is let lose and hits someone in the eye. Being sexy isn't about showing things better left covered - its about confidence and knowing your the BOMB even when your undies have holes in them and your ankles are swelled from too much salty food. Repeat after me, Lycra is your friend.

Yep, my Mama taught me right.


Joy said...

Rethinking attending RT'09

ddurance said...

No, don't ruin it for us! There's got to be a lot of good to go with the bad. It sure sounds like Cindy's having a good time at least! LOL


Monica Burns said...

Sounds like it's gone down even more since '07. *sigh* I'm glad I didn't have a book to sign this year.

As for costumes, I love them, but I'm cognizant of my own shortcomings. Panties and net stockings...nope, I just told my DH yesterday NO, when he suggested I get a Xena getup to wear (I was watching an episode while walking). He was disappointed, but HELL NO!


Kathy said...

JC, you are hilarious as usual. I have never attended an RT con even though at one time I reviewed for them. Hmmmm, looks like I really haven't missed anything. It was lovely seeing you at CR this year!!!! Kathy

Cheyenne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cheyenne said...

Just wanted to let you know that I deleted my post because I thought you were talking about *me* being kicked out of the Faery Ball, and that sure didn't happen. LOL. It was a teasingt post, but then I reread what you wrote and went oohhhhhhhhh, you meant someone else was kicked out. Although was the person possibly misconstruing the situation because I just can't imagine anyone being kicked out for hogging a male model. (Even though I hogged Rodney.)

I don't agree with most of your cynical views on RT--I think it is what it is. But I love you anyway. :o)

Alyssa Day said...

My darling Cindy/Colby has been giving me conferenc reports twice a day - can't WAIT to meet you in person - so sorry I had to miss this year!! Usually by now my sides would be aching from laughing so hard - I feel unbearably dull here at home . . .

Cindy Holby said...

Not all the cover guys are bad. I can't say much for the EC guys. Especially the one with the potted plant growing out of his head. What is up with that.

The cover model contestants I've met, and believe me I have met them...up close and personal...are all extreme gentlemen. Very courteous and friendly and honorable. Smart too. James is a physisist (I know I spelled it wrong, its got something to do with sisemology and oil exploration) and back in school to get another degree. Chris Winters is a serious actor. Chris Howell is in graphic art design. Luke Walsh is a massage therapist and a tai kwon do master. heh heh heh. He took care of the knot in my shoulder at the Christine Feehan party last night. All are perfectly wonderful guys.

But EC cavemen....just ewwwwww

J.C. Wilder said...

I mis-stated a bit. It wasn't the cover models that were behaving badly, it was the Cavemen from EC. I've met a few of the cover models and they have been lovely.

Cheyenne - why am I cynical in my views of RT? Because I feel that certain bad behavior shouldn't be encouraged?

Cindy - have you lost your lovely glow? :)

Writer & Cat said...

JC, your monologue made me laugh out loud! Thanks for the snorts :)

Jody W.

Cheyenne said...

Hey, JC

Poorly worded on my behalf. I meant it as teasing you. You're right about a lot of things. I AM SO GLAD NOT TO HAVE WITNESSED THE FAUX SEX. OMFG. There's lots I can't comment on, but yeah, as far as EC cavemen, uh... The big exception is Rodney who is a first class act. He is a GENUINE person and I adore him. I met John, and I was pretty impressed by him. (Hope he wasn't the one humping the girl's mouth) But the rest of that crowd... I dunno, so I can't really say. I only kinow what I've heard about that certain crowd and it hasn't been good.

Sorry about the airheaded remark. :o)

K. Z. Snow said...


Don't you realize you're not old enough to have, much less express, opinions? When you gonna learn?

I loved your post, by the way. Then again, I have this thing for humor. I also have this other thing for honesty...

Jennifer Dunne said...

Cheyenne, I happened to overhear John talking to two ladies (in that sweet Texas drawl of his) about the Mr. Romance contest, and he was shocked at how much harder it was than he expected. (He called it Five Days of Hell...or Fahv Days o Hay-ell) The models were constantly busy, either "on display" with the crowds, many of whom wanted to get improperly personal, or rehearsing. (They should have rehearsed more...)